I'm feeling all kind of self hatred right now

I feel so disappointed in myself because, even though I try to do my best... I always relapse.

And right now I'm incredibly stressed about everything going on in my life that I'm barely able to do anything... which adds to the stress and disappointment.

I tried to distract myself but my brain is on fire, so loud it makes my body recoil.

I am even ashamed to admit this because people go through worse things. But my brain wasn't able to stay still for the past few hours so I decided to write it.
I apologize for the negative energy.

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in10RjFox · M

even though I try to do my best... I always relapse.

What are you trying to do ? and why are trying to do your best instead of just normal ?

The problem is that you are in a conflict .. which Is like Teacher & Student / Warden & Warded .. It's like you are trying to pull yourself out of the quicksand you have fallen into, which is impossible.

So get help from someone who can pull you out

AoNoSora

@in10RjFox It's hard to admit things and seek help. It's hard even talking about it here where it is anonymous. I have not come to peace with myself yet.

in10RjFox · M

@AoNoSora This is the exact place for you to seek using the anonymity. Because nobody knows you in real life. Don't waste your time coming to peace with yourself. You can't .. You will only be in conflict once again, because you are doing something the wrong way or at wrong time. What you need now is a distraction...

It is just like a patient trying to cure oneself and not seeing a doctor.

AoNoSora

@in10RjFox
I don't know what is my 'seeing a doctor' in this situation.

in10RjFox · M

@AoNoSora I have dm you.