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Some days I want to be dead, some days I want to be alive. Why am I flipping?

Last week I loved life, this week I hate it! Why can’t my brain move on from trauma??? I keep flipping between the joy and sadness. Anger and forgiveness. Spiralling and having dark thoughts 😭
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Several things I do to unwind. 1) I get in my boat, go to a secluded spot, drop anchor, then lay on the seat and read a book or just watch the trees onshore and relax. 2) go into the woods, under some tall trees and lay down. Relax and just watch nature happening all around you, the clouds moving, the trees in the breeze, the smell of fresh air. 3) Play the guitar. You don't have to be a master at it, just hit one note and listen to the tone. So pure, so nice, so clean.

Really clears the head and balances.