I have this weird form of rage
Whenever I see or learn about injustice happening I get pissed, like punch a hole in the wall pissed. But then if I hear about crimes being committed and the criminal getting away with it I become frothing at the mouth. I got pissed this morning because in the books hannibal lecter gets away with his crimes and then realized I was angry about a fictional character and fictional crimes.
It probably has to do with the abuse I grew up with but mostly with my grandfather. He was murdered by the monster that claimed he was his son. He was a drug addict loser who abused my grandfather for years and his siblings let him do it. When we finally got back into his life he started dying immediately but no one paid attention to how fucking suspicious that was. He was moved into hospice where the pos tried to kill me when I visited my grandfather. I had the opportunity to take him out when he attacked but I was just a stupid kid. Then despite the fact that there was proof he lied under oath no one did anything.
They fought him for the money they felt they deserved that the pos stole but no one even cared about the murder. Even the courts didn’t care about him trying to murder me.
From there the injustice continued. The asshole I grew up with got restraining orders out on us the day after my grandfather’s funeral and I spent the next 2 years living with scumbag relatives. Those same scumbag got me sent to jail for something I didn’t do and then mocked me for it. I had people threaten to kill me in there and didn’t even have a toilet to use.
I tried to fight back. I went to college for criminal justice and after years of work finally became a
Private Investigator. I was gonna help people eventually and do the right thing. Instead I got fucked over and nearly went broke because of the companies lies.
I don’t just feel rage, I am rage. I am the closest thing to the Hulk. But I control it, I push it down. Now Im trying to be a writer but I already got fucked over with that. I just want to be calm, to be normal but life doesn’t want me to be that way. God why can’t I just be Batman?
It probably has to do with the abuse I grew up with but mostly with my grandfather. He was murdered by the monster that claimed he was his son. He was a drug addict loser who abused my grandfather for years and his siblings let him do it. When we finally got back into his life he started dying immediately but no one paid attention to how fucking suspicious that was. He was moved into hospice where the pos tried to kill me when I visited my grandfather. I had the opportunity to take him out when he attacked but I was just a stupid kid. Then despite the fact that there was proof he lied under oath no one did anything.
They fought him for the money they felt they deserved that the pos stole but no one even cared about the murder. Even the courts didn’t care about him trying to murder me.
From there the injustice continued. The asshole I grew up with got restraining orders out on us the day after my grandfather’s funeral and I spent the next 2 years living with scumbag relatives. Those same scumbag got me sent to jail for something I didn’t do and then mocked me for it. I had people threaten to kill me in there and didn’t even have a toilet to use.
I tried to fight back. I went to college for criminal justice and after years of work finally became a
Private Investigator. I was gonna help people eventually and do the right thing. Instead I got fucked over and nearly went broke because of the companies lies.
I don’t just feel rage, I am rage. I am the closest thing to the Hulk. But I control it, I push it down. Now Im trying to be a writer but I already got fucked over with that. I just want to be calm, to be normal but life doesn’t want me to be that way. God why can’t I just be Batman?
31-35, M