Can’t sleep. Spiraling. Feeling alone in this struggle. If I can’t expect someone to save me, what am I suppose to do?

I don’t have a job. I feel like I can’t focus on my dream job if I’m worried about having money to survive until I get it. I have doubts if my dream job really is my dream. If I don’t find a job, I really wont have the option of having children. I want children so I can have someone take care of me when I’m old. There’s a chance my kids won’t take care of me anyways though and that’s sad. I don’t want to die scared and alone.