Got a SO that disconnects and acts cranky when you're going through extreme stress?

That's me, I guess. I get angry and yell at a friend of mine, who used to be my SO, when he tells me that the cancer has come back but he isn't bothering to get himself an oncologist. Just sitting back, telling himself he can finally die.

Does same if she's stressed .. her go to response

I just can't do drama.

Sorry to hear that. It sounds like he may not know how to address that side of intimacy. Or, maybe he's afraid of it, so his disconnecting and crankiness is avoidance behavior.