Ive been feeling so on edge lately

Like my anxiety is through the roof. My mind feels like its being split apart from stressing about finances and rising costs ontop of that, takimg care of a newborn that seems to hate sleeping and wrestling with trying to be a good mom and make the best choices, researching how to help her sleep and why is she doing this and that and getting contradicting advice and judgement and my husband burnt out from work coming home wanted to relax but baby is crying and i need him to hold her so i can finally do laundry, take a shower, eat, cook, clean, nap, and not have a screaming baby because i put her down and not be scrutinised for not putting her down or doing it wrong or being told it was easier for them or they had it worse than me. Told to ask for help then told they didnt have any help in a way like im incapable for asking or theyre a better mom than me.

Its intense and im tired and moms dont get enough credit. I see that now

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SW-User

Some babies sleep through the night and some are terrible sleepers at first. It has nothing to do with your ability as a mother and anyone who thinks that they cracked it and found the perfect recipe for baby sleep is kidding themselves and lying to you.

DarkSideoftheMoon · 36-40, F

@SW-User i literally know girls who are so irresponsible and lazy yet have like 5 kids and make it look so easy so idk how they do it

SW-User

@DarkSideoftheMoon I think that some people have very easy going kids but more likely you just don't see all the struggle behind closed doors. Some people will simply just not care for their kids well of course and that could make their ride seem easier. The only truth is that there is no perfect formula, a baby is an individual and every one will be different. They could give a shit about what some book says regarding what works and doesn't.

DarkSideoftheMoon · 36-40, F

@SW-User it just hurts my heart to see her suffer. I know she is tired but struggles to sleep. My motherinlaw said i should let her cry it out but shes too little for that. I read if u let them do that too early they will stop crying but only because they give up because they realise noone will come for them and it could cause problems later in life. Maybe a sense of feeling alone all the time as an adult. I just want to do my best for her. I guess if i just dumped her in a corner shed eventually stop crying but i dont have it in my heart to do that

SW-User

@DarkSideoftheMoon I'm with you on that one. The idea of letting them cry it out is quite an old fashioned one. My parents' generation would have said the same. I'd prefer to offer comfort and reassurance, even if it doesn't seem like it's working at times. I think it will pay dividends in the long run. The idea that a baby will learn to cry simply for attention is a moot point because they'll do that whatever you do.

DarkSideoftheMoon · 36-40, F

@SW-User research has shown that babies dont get manipulative until 9 months i believe so before that they cry because they need u even if its for comfort but i know it was different back then and they didnt know what we know now. I think its possibly a contributing factor to maybe why we feel so alone sometimes and depressed.