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Meaning & Purpose

Most of everything is going my way right now. I shouldn't have any complaints, but I always manage to find one. I've been through a lot, and I'm always waiting on everything to fall apart. This leads me to take the good things in life for granted. Although my life is going, I can't seem to be happy. I feel like my life has no purpose, despite knowing what my purpose is. In my 34 years, so many friends and family have died. It stays with me, day and night. Here I am, doing just fine, when I could've been in jail or dead on numerous occasions. It doesn't seem fair.
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Mooncalf · 100+, M
When I read your words I saw a picture of a train that was stopped at one of those in-between train stations but for whatever reason wasn't taking off even though the engine was running just fine. I think the brakes are on.
TheOutsider · 36-40, M
@Mooncalf I was worried the transmission went out.
Mooncalf · 100+, M
@TheOutsider Not according to what I see, smoke is coming through stack as it's supposed to and the train is effectively ready to depart for the next station.
TheOutsider · 36-40, M
@Mooncalf Keep in mind, my eyesight and hearing are not what they used to be. I don't know how they allowed me to operate this train.
Mooncalf · 100+, M
@TheOutsider But now you know why you're not driving it.
TheOutsider · 36-40, M
@Mooncalf That's what I thought. I have no control over my life.
Mooncalf · 100+, M
@TheOutsider It may seem that you have no control but you're the only one who can drive your train and if its not moving it's because you're not driving it so in actuality you do have control. It's your train and no one can drive that train to where you want those tracks to take you better than you can. You've come to this point in your journey and some of the people who've ridden along with you had to get off your train and transfer to another because that's just the point they were at in their ride. I think your train is scheduled to keep going and all who have ridden with you so far I'm sure want to meet you further down the line and who knows, perhaps you'll be seeing them at another stop.
TheOutsider · 36-40, M
@Mooncalf I better get her back on the tracks. Thank you for that!
Mooncalf · 100+, M
@TheOutsider Hell yeah man! Let what moves you be your cocaine, unless your cocaine is cocaine then I would advise a different cocaine lol. You got this!
TheOutsider · 36-40, M
@Mooncalf Thomas let himself go.
Mooncalf · 100+, M
@TheOutsider Like I said, there's only one person who can move the train and if Thomas never let himself go, he wouldn't go anywhere. When he let himself go, it was to regain the control he thought he lost but once he realized he's the one who put on the brakes, he was able to let himself go and he was free.
TheOutsider · 36-40, M
@Mooncalf But he overdosed! He's dead!
Mooncalf · 100+, M
@TheOutsider He seems fine to me.
TheOutsider · 36-40, M
@Mooncalf Shit, he was just sleeping!
Mooncalf · 100+, M
@TheOutsider Well if he's gonna dream, might as well enjoy himself.
TheOutsider · 36-40, M
@Mooncalf That explains why his hand was down there.
Mooncalf · 100+, M
@TheOutsider Releasing the brake?