Meaning & Purpose

Most of everything is going my way right now. I shouldn't have any complaints, but I always manage to find one. I've been through a lot, and I'm always waiting on everything to fall apart. This leads me to take the good things in life for granted. Although my life is going, I can't seem to be happy. I feel like my life has no purpose, despite knowing what my purpose is. In my 34 years, so many friends and family have died. It stays with me, day and night. Here I am, doing just fine, when I could've been in jail or dead on numerous occasions. It doesn't seem fair.