I am undesirable

I came to terms with this fact ages ago. I have desirable parts of me, but they are often just as obvious as the unattractive parts of me.

I am filled with both the really good and the really bad.

I attract men at first, but then, as we continue to talk, I become less desireable. I'm used to that. So when the talking becomes less and less to nonexistent, it isn't really disappointing to me. It is just what naturally happens.

I'm opinionated and judgy. I have values and standards. I'm aware a lot of men either don't really know much about themselves, or they have their own values and standards that end up clashing. And that's okay. Again, it just means that I am undesireable to them in my own eyes. When I see a relationship that will be a battle of wills, I will move on. Conflict should be things that are worked on together, not battling each other's character.

I am old. I don't date younger men anymore. The age difference is too large a hurdle. Since I am undesirable in my own age group, and I don't desire someone outside my age group, I inherently become undesirable.

In the end, I am undesireable for a number of reasons.

That, however, doesn't mean that I am undeserving of love and respect. That I can't be cherished or cared about. But to a lot of people, being undesireable means you are not loveable, worthy of care and being cherished. To me, that is a sad point of view and hurts everyone, including those who hold it.