I Am Not Where I Wanted to Be At This Age

I’m going to be 26 in two months, and since I’ve gotten out of school I have done nothing worth caring about. I got a degree and a certification and have done nothing with those, no place of my own, no family to my name, hell I’ve never even been kissed. But my mom is sick and we’re holding out to the end of this month for a doctors appointment that I hope would put us back on a better course. It feels like an impossiblely long amount of time but we’re getting there. I’m trying to be positive but caretaking is stressful. Especially considering my mom already has moments she worries me, but on top of that my dad is working in a different state so it feels like he’s never here and younger sisters are completely useless. It feels like holding my family together all on my own. If you’d have asked me years ago what I thought I’d be doing by now I’d have been married with kids and going to work in animation like I’ve wanted since I was 12. Now, again I’m trying to be positive, but sometimes it feels like I’ll never make it and I’ll never get to share it with mom. I feel alone in this. I feel like I have no help and it’s just a hard weight to carry alone, and it’s worse when you have other people who should be helping and won’t. I want to be positive, I’m really trying. But man, sometimes it’s so hard it hurts