I Am Not Where I Wanted to Be At This Age
Had a birthday not too long ago. I still don't know how to drive. Don't know many people. Don't have a "support" group. Don't go anywhere. Don't have any savings, feel like I'm going nowhere with my life, living paycheck to paycheck and paying down my student loans.
I have hobbies, I'm into art. I have things I can do for money but I lack the proactiveness and self-confidence to do the things that can make me successful in life.
I can picture the way I want everything to be so crystal clear. Where I want to live, the way I want to eat and take care of myself, the kind of people I want to be around.
I don't even want to live a lavish life. I just want a comfortable one. And I want to be surrounded by those that I love and to be able to take care of them.
I get spontaneous bursts of motivation to do better with my life. To achieve my dreams, chase my happiness. Only for the motivation to die off within a few days, sometimes a few months if I'm lucky.
My downfall is the fact I want to be free of society so bad, and I get depressed because I am a (semi) functioning member of society, and I am always escaping into my head, or the internet to get away from that fact instead of using those feelings to propel me into a state of hard working towards my financial freedom where in that state I could do the things I really want to do with my life.
Ah life.
Lets just hope I don't end up like one of those 70+ year old people working a minimum wage job.
I have hobbies, I'm into art. I have things I can do for money but I lack the proactiveness and self-confidence to do the things that can make me successful in life.
I can picture the way I want everything to be so crystal clear. Where I want to live, the way I want to eat and take care of myself, the kind of people I want to be around.
I don't even want to live a lavish life. I just want a comfortable one. And I want to be surrounded by those that I love and to be able to take care of them.
I get spontaneous bursts of motivation to do better with my life. To achieve my dreams, chase my happiness. Only for the motivation to die off within a few days, sometimes a few months if I'm lucky.
My downfall is the fact I want to be free of society so bad, and I get depressed because I am a (semi) functioning member of society, and I am always escaping into my head, or the internet to get away from that fact instead of using those feelings to propel me into a state of hard working towards my financial freedom where in that state I could do the things I really want to do with my life.
Ah life.
Lets just hope I don't end up like one of those 70+ year old people working a minimum wage job.
26-30, F
