Nothing like the dude who asked you to be the sexual surrogate in his past relationship spotting you from behind in public and government naming you.

He was behind me talking on the phone to his mom, and then let out this huge sigh and too loud, “Oh my gawd.”

I had no clue who the dude was, but his footsteps were getting closer and the way he exasperated made me think this stranger was going to start a conversation with me. …and then he did 🙄

“Is that (my full damn name)?”

I smiled because I’m a decent human being. Even stepped into his hug that was coming for me so I can try to earn a spot in heaven now, and stood there and nodded like anyone else would as he caught me up on the past two years of his life.

He’s getting married. Again. Next year. To a bandmate of my oldest. He’s in his 30’s, but okay. But what’ll forever be cemented in my mind was the high ponytail he was sporting. Greasy and frizzy at the same time.

Man, did I miss out on that opportunity. And I’m never going to forget what could’ve been.