What did you learn about yourself throughout this process?
I think strip clubs are filled with mirrors, in part to reflect your own shit back to you. In my case, all these lonely dudes reflected back my own sense of loneliness and lack of connectedness at that point in my life.
As a stripper, you need to wear a mask where you are always happy and horny regardless of if you’re bloated and your cat just vomited on your bed. Over time that mask either becomes rigid and you become lost within it or it starts to crack.
Fortunately, mine cracked. When I realized stripping wasn’t going to give me what I fundamentally needed to be happy, I stopped looking for it in that relationship.
I pursued things I thought I might be passionate about outside of stripping – I started writing and took improv comedy classes – and as I discovered and embraced more of myself, I grew and my relationship with stripping no longer fit me.
Ultimately, stripping taught me that I can’t live a life where I am anyone but myself, and that I can’t rely on anyone but myself to give me that life. Jobs won’t complete you, relationships won’t complete you, only you can complete you. And that’s tough but super-rewarding work.
As a stripper, you need to wear a mask where you are always happy and horny regardless of if you’re bloated and your cat just vomited on your bed. Over time that mask either becomes rigid and you become lost within it or it starts to crack.
Fortunately, mine cracked. When I realized stripping wasn’t going to give me what I fundamentally needed to be happy, I stopped looking for it in that relationship.
I pursued things I thought I might be passionate about outside of stripping – I started writing and took improv comedy classes – and as I discovered and embraced more of myself, I grew and my relationship with stripping no longer fit me.
Ultimately, stripping taught me that I can’t live a life where I am anyone but myself, and that I can’t rely on anyone but myself to give me that life. Jobs won’t complete you, relationships won’t complete you, only you can complete you. And that’s tough but super-rewarding work.
