I cannot continue living how I am.

It's not the worst, I know that. But I am getting treated like crap when I deserve better. I think I have exhausted everything I worked for because it was never for me.

I see the best in people, because I was forced to grow up loving my abusers.

Am I virtuous? Or foolish?

Am I loving? Or pathetic?

Somewhere in the middle perhaps, but highly susceptible to bullshit because it feels familiar.

I guess I'm sharing my personal shit on here again. Sorry. I feel so weird rn. Nauseous. I have to say it out loud. Maybe eventually I won't be a dumbass and I can be normal too. And people will talk to me like I matter, because I'll mean more than being a dumbass.

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caccoon · 36-40

You are loving and caring.

I hope you can be there for yourself the way you are for others.

I think we can get used to emptying our tank for others. It's a very hard habit to break.

But don't doubt that you are loving. 💙💙

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@caccoon I feel stupid.

It's good to figure out what I'm figuring out, it helps me understand. I'll get through it 🖤 it's just a gut punch.

Thank you 🖤

caccoon · 36-40

@ScreamingFox you are intelligent 💙

Growth or whatever you want to call it, is painful, and not easy.

💙💙💙 You've done a lot of hard things, and been through a lot. You deserve whatever your version of peace is