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I Believe You Gotta Laugh to Keep From Crying Sometimes

I am constantly fighting a war. I believe all of us are. The continuous struggle between logic and emotion. I usually side with logic... but I don't always win. Sometimes my emotions are so strong and so overwhelming, that I can't help but have an emotional outburst. That is when I lose the battle. All I can do in those moments, is try to suffer my defeat gracefully with the little dignity I have left.

As far as emotional outbursts go, you have one of two choices; laugh or cry. I choose laughter. I cannot allow myself to cry in public, I have far too much pride. I feel the need to hide my fragility from the people in my life. I believe the nature of modern man is cruel and they will exploit your weakness if you let them. But there is no weakness in laughter... only endorphins :-)

The only downside to this, is the nature of my laugh in these moments. It is a hysterical laughter, it is a maniacal laughter. So unfortunately most of them go away thinking that I'm a lunatic. But I'd rather have them see my insanity than my fragility. Because lunacy isn't as easy to exploit as a public display of weakness.

 
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