why am i like this?

I don't know you and from that small description you said I reckon your taking yourself too serious .Trying to force yourself to get back too the old you causes frustrations and ending resenting yourself .
But strange paradox about that is ' you have it already

Your old self was a temp stage leading u to the current identity. And today’s current identity a temp stage that leads you to tomorrows identity. Don’t worry it’s all temporary and a constant change.

U ok ?

What was the old one like

How old are you?

Seek help? Or have you already tried?