I know the feeling, believe me. I have been feeling that way for about 30 years. My suggestion is to do your best to focus on the good things and talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling. Talking about things does help in the tough times. Find someone on here that will let you vent out your frustrations. Either way, talk about it, don't keep it inside. I promise, someone will listen and it will help. Also, let your doctor know, that will help long term. Just please, reach out to someone. You already reached out with this message, now be more specific to whom you reach out to for the next step.