Hey,, Joe…, I’m sorry…
Is he staring down at me?
Does he judge the things I’ve done ?
Does he knows how much time I spend wishing that I could’ve traded places with him?
Lately I’ve been doing better. But for some reason after random conversations, I’m spiraling out and thinking of him.
My mind filled with guilt and my soul drowning in the tears I cry.
Alone and nobody that understands.
Staring in the mirror and finding all new ways to blame myself. Finding new ways to hate myself.
Finding new arguments to hurl up at a God that’s forsaken me, and taken him.
Wishing as I sometimes do that the fairytales of my faith were true and that I could just die and spend another day with him.
To say all the things I wish I said
To hear all the things he might have said
Tonight I wish there were enough flames to consume me and bring me to him.
Because there’s no way to bring him back to me.
A decade gone by and it all just feels like yesterday.
Oh my god, why ?
Why?
Does he judge the things I’ve done ?
Does he knows how much time I spend wishing that I could’ve traded places with him?
Lately I’ve been doing better. But for some reason after random conversations, I’m spiraling out and thinking of him.
My mind filled with guilt and my soul drowning in the tears I cry.
Alone and nobody that understands.
Staring in the mirror and finding all new ways to blame myself. Finding new ways to hate myself.
Finding new arguments to hurl up at a God that’s forsaken me, and taken him.
Wishing as I sometimes do that the fairytales of my faith were true and that I could just die and spend another day with him.
To say all the things I wish I said
To hear all the things he might have said
Tonight I wish there were enough flames to consume me and bring me to him.
Because there’s no way to bring him back to me.
A decade gone by and it all just feels like yesterday.
Oh my god, why ?
Why?
51-55, M