I don't think I have really reconciled my mortality

Even the few times when I have looked at death in the face it was more just an uncomfortable experience I was getting through than really being present right there with death.

Accepting the situation in my heart for real and being okay with it. I think that in fact is what you have to do to really reconcile your mortality. You need to put yourself in that situation where it is near and learn to be fine with that.

But who has that opportunity over and over again?

Who chooses that opportunity and when it comes doesn't just "get through it" but stays with it and takes it into themselves and learns to be okay with it?

It wouldn't be enough to just be a soldier or to work in the ER.

Death has to be something you stay with and take into your mind and be fine with. It can't be just something you grit your teeth about or freak out about long enough to get out of the situation.


Some people have done this of course but not many. It is exceedingly rare to find. Even some people try and they just go insane.

You have to come through it and be okay at the end better than before. More wise.