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Just make sure they know you love them...

Sounds obvious, and it's probably something that's been posted on here a thousand times, but I'm not sure it's something that can be said enough.

I lost a friend to cancer in May and while I've obviously experienced grief before - we all have - this one's hit hard. Harder, in truth, than any other I've experienced.

I've asked myself why and have come to the conclusion it's because I didn't do enough. Or at least I feel like I didn't do enough.

We did a lot together in our 20s and 30s - holidays, football tours, hundred of nights out - but when family life took me away from my home town and he stayed there, we saw less of each other. That's life I guess ... although we never completely lost touch ... the odd phone call, the odd text message and, very occasionally, a meet-up at a social gathering.

He was first diagnosed in the late 2010s but having had surgery but recovered, it came after him twice more ... the third time being the final time.

His funeral was a meeting of old friends - literally hundreds of us - all of whom had been touched by him as I had. We hail from a small town and it came to a standstill for an hour.

But I was envious of those who told stories of how they helped him in his final months, weeks and days. I should have done more. I can see that now. But I left it to others. And I never got the chance to say goodbye and tell him what an amazing mate he'd been.

I miss him so much. He pops up in my dreams two or three times a week.

His name was Tim and he was awesome. If you read this, please spare a thought for him.

Thanks for reading.
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PowerofStories · 61-69, M
Tim had a very good friend in you. The fact that others helped in his last days doesn't change that.

I recently lost a friend who was in his early 30s to Muscular Dystrophy. He was severely disabled by the time I met him, but even so, there was so much of him -- kindness, good sense of humor, generosity that he reached far, far beyond his wheelchair and touched many lives. He made mine better.

I am sad that he is gone. But will always remember that in his relatively short life, he lived more than many people do in a long life. And like you and Tim, people miss him because although he is gone, he is very much still a part of us.

Wishing you well and hoping that you are not too hard on yourself in your grief. Your intentions and feelings are important and you are not alone in this experience of missed opportunity. It is universal.