I have this thing dealing with men of my race

I'm African American and grew up with a mostly shitty childhood. My stepdad made me think that all guys, men and boys are aggressive and not easy to get along with. I grew up, not wanting to approach boys my age. I may not seem like I am uncomfortable with guys, but it also depends on the situation... Like if a guy and I are alone in an elevator or in a workplace, I may feel uncomfortable. And I also try not to be around guys because of my low self-esteem and insecurities. A conversation may start and I would get uncomfortable because I don't want the guy to think that I'm into him and is trying to flirt with him. That's because I am unsure if the guy would like fat and ugly girls like me.