I Have a Confession
by now most people here know what i have to confess. first of all i want to say im sorry that i hurt so many people. it was never my intention, but i did all the same. for that im truly sorry. i'd like to tell the full story. i understand those who don't feel like hearing the full story, but so if you are interested, please read on.
when i first joined sw i used my own pic. not many of you will remember this, because i was mostly a lurker. back then i was messaged every day for just being logged on as a 18 yo female. and i was stupid and naive and replied to every one of them, because i'd been taught that it's rude to not reply to people. some were nice, some were normal pervs, and some were predators. and pretty much everyone made me feel uncomfortable.
and then i had a mental breakdown during the fall of 2016, around when i joined sw. for a long time i was stalked in real life by a norwegian guy. he lived across the country from me, found me on instagram and started talking to me as if he knew me. like the people on sw, i replied to him out of a sense of obligation. these conversations lasted from before i graduated till i moved out to go to school. i foolishly told him which school i was starting, and despite not knowing where i lived, he traveled across the country to show up at my school's campus. he took pictures of himself at my school, asking me where i was and asking me to meet him. i didn't know what to do, but i got so scared i didn't leave the house for two weeks, skipping every class. i never saw him in person, but he kept messaging me for a long time, even after i asked him to stop. i blocked him, so he started messaging my friends. eventually i had a breakdown, told my dad everything and he made sure i got a restraining order.
i no longer felt safe online because of my past with my stalker, and also i didn't trust the people of sw because of the people who had messaged me. so i decided to switch out my pics for someone else. i started using the pics of a girl who followed me on tumblr called lily to protect myself. i'd like to say there was a big contemplative decision where i deeply considered the ethics of the choice, but there wasn't. i just switched pics. but the switch it made me feel safer, and eventually i allowed myself to become more and more active, and i got to know some of you little by little.
i never claimed to be her in the beginning. if anyone ever asked me directly i'd either just not answer or be vague about it. of course, i was fine with letting people assume and never corrected people, which was really hypocritical of me. eventually everyone believed i was her anyway so it was like 'why not'? after using her pics for a year as avatars tho, it just sort of spiraled. idk why but i let it get to my head. i only used her pics as avatars, but suddenly i was posting them in public. so of course people thought she was me. and then that spiraled into the booty post pics and we all know the story from there
someone asked me today if i did it for attention, or for profile views. i honestly didn't, though i didn't shun that part of it either. everyone wants to be liked, don't they? i'm no exception. but not everyone pretends to be a different person, no matter why they did it. i know that. i know i messed up pretty bad. i let something that was originally only meant to protect me become my actual identity on this site, and deceived so many people who didn't deserve it in the process.
i'd like to say that the first person i confessed to was lily. i messaged her and apologized to her on instagram last night. i feel so horribly guilty about the whole thing, and out of everyone i owe an apology to, she deserved it the most.
wrapping up, i'd also like to let you all know that im not an old man pretending to be a girl for nudes. despite the pics, i've been honest on this site about who i am as a person. i like cat pics and bad jokes. but im also a person who clearly makes terrible choices. if you don't feel like you can forgive me for deceiving you, i do understand. but the only thing i can do is more forward and do better. so that's what i'll try to do
once again, i'm truly, truly sorry
when i first joined sw i used my own pic. not many of you will remember this, because i was mostly a lurker. back then i was messaged every day for just being logged on as a 18 yo female. and i was stupid and naive and replied to every one of them, because i'd been taught that it's rude to not reply to people. some were nice, some were normal pervs, and some were predators. and pretty much everyone made me feel uncomfortable.
and then i had a mental breakdown during the fall of 2016, around when i joined sw. for a long time i was stalked in real life by a norwegian guy. he lived across the country from me, found me on instagram and started talking to me as if he knew me. like the people on sw, i replied to him out of a sense of obligation. these conversations lasted from before i graduated till i moved out to go to school. i foolishly told him which school i was starting, and despite not knowing where i lived, he traveled across the country to show up at my school's campus. he took pictures of himself at my school, asking me where i was and asking me to meet him. i didn't know what to do, but i got so scared i didn't leave the house for two weeks, skipping every class. i never saw him in person, but he kept messaging me for a long time, even after i asked him to stop. i blocked him, so he started messaging my friends. eventually i had a breakdown, told my dad everything and he made sure i got a restraining order.
i no longer felt safe online because of my past with my stalker, and also i didn't trust the people of sw because of the people who had messaged me. so i decided to switch out my pics for someone else. i started using the pics of a girl who followed me on tumblr called lily to protect myself. i'd like to say there was a big contemplative decision where i deeply considered the ethics of the choice, but there wasn't. i just switched pics. but the switch it made me feel safer, and eventually i allowed myself to become more and more active, and i got to know some of you little by little.
i never claimed to be her in the beginning. if anyone ever asked me directly i'd either just not answer or be vague about it. of course, i was fine with letting people assume and never corrected people, which was really hypocritical of me. eventually everyone believed i was her anyway so it was like 'why not'? after using her pics for a year as avatars tho, it just sort of spiraled. idk why but i let it get to my head. i only used her pics as avatars, but suddenly i was posting them in public. so of course people thought she was me. and then that spiraled into the booty post pics and we all know the story from there
someone asked me today if i did it for attention, or for profile views. i honestly didn't, though i didn't shun that part of it either. everyone wants to be liked, don't they? i'm no exception. but not everyone pretends to be a different person, no matter why they did it. i know that. i know i messed up pretty bad. i let something that was originally only meant to protect me become my actual identity on this site, and deceived so many people who didn't deserve it in the process.
i'd like to say that the first person i confessed to was lily. i messaged her and apologized to her on instagram last night. i feel so horribly guilty about the whole thing, and out of everyone i owe an apology to, she deserved it the most.
wrapping up, i'd also like to let you all know that im not an old man pretending to be a girl for nudes. despite the pics, i've been honest on this site about who i am as a person. i like cat pics and bad jokes. but im also a person who clearly makes terrible choices. if you don't feel like you can forgive me for deceiving you, i do understand. but the only thing i can do is more forward and do better. so that's what i'll try to do
once again, i'm truly, truly sorry
