I Have a Confession
I want to start over. I want to believe that all of this wasn't for nothing, but to show me that there is more to the picture than what is now. I want to believe that this is all just a phase and it will all be over soon. That my significant other will break away from his habits and lead a better, more active life. And I want to find my way back to who I was before the storm of worries..."Where am I going?" "What do I want to do with my life?" "Was it all for nothing?" "Do I want to be a house wife?" "Do I want to explore more career options?" "Who am I?"
I want to visit with my old friend...and tell him that I am sorry. I want to make up for the time lost. I want to let him talk to me one on one without my significant other listening in for fear of wrong doing. If you are reading, I want you to know I never meant to cause this. I never meant to stir your emotions. But I don't care if I have to live with mine...it's been there, just dormant...and it's something I must live with, even if it hurts. You are a part of my life I won't give up on, because I feel that connection...a different connection I've never had with other people. It's weird, because it shouldn't be there, especially after so long.
I want to visit with my old friend...and tell him that I am sorry. I want to make up for the time lost. I want to let him talk to me one on one without my significant other listening in for fear of wrong doing. If you are reading, I want you to know I never meant to cause this. I never meant to stir your emotions. But I don't care if I have to live with mine...it's been there, just dormant...and it's something I must live with, even if it hurts. You are a part of my life I won't give up on, because I feel that connection...a different connection I've never had with other people. It's weird, because it shouldn't be there, especially after so long.
41-45, F