I just wish I could go to my parents for wisdom.

Sadly, I can't. They don't have anything wise to say. Like. Not a thing. I don't know who to go to for advice. It sucks man. Trying to figure things out on my own. Imagine being parented by them since childhood. Mama beat me up in front of the whole school because her anger couldn't wait. All my parents talked about was NOTHING. I can't learn wisdom from the two people who only talk about their problems, and never about the possibility of solutions. Just empty conversations. Again and again. Everyday on repeat, from waking up to going to sleep. Same old. 30 years and nothing has changed. They have nothing to add, except for more irrational fears.

I am a stupid woman. It does not get any worse than this. My coworkers make sure I'm reminded of that every single day. I wish I was wise. My genes run too strong. I don't know what's right and what's wrong. I have poor forethought and poor foresight and narrow vision of social politics. I'm an extremely nearsighted person. Absolutely stupid. I'm a laughingstock.
I wish I was wise.
I don't even want to be a parent because I don't want to repeat history. I have nothing to offer, just like my parents.

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PeacefulEntity · 61-69, M

I know how you feel because one time I came home from school (now mind you I'm 9-10 years old) and said "I just saw a hummingbird land on a branch"

"Hummingbirds don't have legs!" Was her response. 😳😳🤨🤨

So it's kind of hard to extract wisdom from a person that has that kind of intelligence.

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

@PeacefulEntity I understand you one hundred percent. I think despite the circumstances we were given, we've made the best of what we could don't you think?

PeacefulEntity · 61-69, M

@assemblingaknob I would say you are correct about that I have obviously grown older (I'm now retired) but have I received encouragement to strive for better education, a better job, or higher positions in companies I might have done better.

As it was I shifted from job to job with no future and I was really lucky at my last job as I was banking money like crazy so when covid took me out I had to survive 9 months before I got a retirement check so thank God for the 401K.

If push came to shove I would have to say "No, I don't hate my mother but I hate what I have become, because of her lack of parenting skills. Also her history which destroyed her before she even became a parent.