How to accept something from the past?

My bf told me something horrible. It’s been over 10 years since he did that action.
He’s changed.
My brain cannot just accept what he did. Seriously.
It’s like my mind won’t let that process.
I cry all day everyday. It’s getting to me.

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Sojournersoul · M

I know you wrote about it yesterday. You might want to think if you really want to be with him now.

AnonymousJSS · F

@Sojournersoul I honestly am. Idk what to think anymore

Sojournersoul · M

@AnonymousJSS need to talk. I will listen.

Birdbox1986 · 31-35, F

What did he do ? Sleep with his cousin who hasn’t, I haven’t but we all have temptations and a past

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HikingMan · 56-60, M

For you it’s not the past. It’s the here and now and it’s a whole new set of bad feelings and anxiety. For you this is a current trauma and it should be treated as such with as much grace as you can give yourself.

It should also involve plenty of understanding, sympathy, and patience from him.

Though he’s had years to place it behind him and attempt to change enough to make himself feel he’s a better person now, his hiding it was a form of betrayal that robbed you of the right to make choices back then about it. Which is no small thing.

These are just my opinions based on what I know which is very little. I’m not really offering any advice other than to follow your heart as you take time to process this and decide where you finally stand with it.

Be kind to yourself as you go through it.

Wishing you peace

AnonymousJSS · F

@HikingMan Thank you so much.

HikingMan · 56-60, M

@AnonymousJSS I’m sure you’re feeling anxious, scared, betrayed, and taken advantage of right now, and i want you to know that those feelings are normal and valid and any suggestions otherwise is a manipulation.

I really do hope you come to an honest place with youself and your feelings and are able to process whatever it is soon .

I hope you find peace in your decision. Even if it hurts more for a while.