A list of things the man a dated for less than a month said to me:
"women are emotional creatures, men are the logical ones, that's just how nature made the two genders"
"Women panic easily"
"Your xyz person in your department (who, MIND YOU, has years and years more experience than this man I dated) failed a such and such procedure! Oh my, had it been me, I could have done it easily! (He works in a different sub-field and does not infact do this procedure routinely). In fact, it has so happened that when abc colleague of yours couldn't do a such and such (different) procedure, I offered to help them and BOOM, I did it in one go."
Basically, sometimes, a change of hands is good. And advised. But to say that it makes you OBJECTIVELY better than extremely expert people who have reliably done excellent jobs for years before you, is MUCH OF A DELUSIONAL STRETCH.
"When I give someone advice or opinion, and they don't follow it, I say to myself 'okay, do whatever the f*ck you want. Like literally, f*ck them'" (basically a way of saying that his opinion is the only correct opinion in the room)
"You have issues that you haven't dealt with yet. You know, you're in therapy and everything. I, however, have dealt with my issues, they don't exist anymore. I am way past them. I have moved on from them"
"I don't need therapy, I have already moved past my issues"
Fast forward to:
"Did you cook for me? Oh my goodness, I really don't like it when a woman cooks, because I have trauma from my mother being forced to cook for a very big family because of my abusive father. It makes me highly uncomfortable that you cooked for me." (Are you really past your issues, sir???)
I had already told him TWICE that I did NOT in fact cook for him, I cooked for MYself because I missed home and this is my comfort dish that I like to make when I miss home. He still proceeds to say:
"You can't impress me by cooking for me"
B*tch I didn't cook for you. I invited you over for dinner because I wanted to SHARE a home cooked meal WITH you. Jesus CHRISTTTT how fcking hard can it be to understand, you M0R0N. Not everything is about you.
And I saved the best for last:
"I'm not being JUDGEMENTAL, I'm simply making an OBSERVATION"
Cut to:
"Oh my god! You're so judgemental!"
Sure.
I'm so glad he ghosted me. Because my tentacles aren't sharp enough AT ALL to sniff the red flags.
What an EWW man.
I have made this post as a reminder to try never miss him again. I was a bit under the weather today thinking about it all. But I'm definitely better than I was a month ago. I lost 10kg grieving this almost narc-like individual.
"Women panic easily"
"Your xyz person in your department (who, MIND YOU, has years and years more experience than this man I dated) failed a such and such procedure! Oh my, had it been me, I could have done it easily! (He works in a different sub-field and does not infact do this procedure routinely). In fact, it has so happened that when abc colleague of yours couldn't do a such and such (different) procedure, I offered to help them and BOOM, I did it in one go."
Basically, sometimes, a change of hands is good. And advised. But to say that it makes you OBJECTIVELY better than extremely expert people who have reliably done excellent jobs for years before you, is MUCH OF A DELUSIONAL STRETCH.
"When I give someone advice or opinion, and they don't follow it, I say to myself 'okay, do whatever the f*ck you want. Like literally, f*ck them'" (basically a way of saying that his opinion is the only correct opinion in the room)
"You have issues that you haven't dealt with yet. You know, you're in therapy and everything. I, however, have dealt with my issues, they don't exist anymore. I am way past them. I have moved on from them"
"I don't need therapy, I have already moved past my issues"
Fast forward to:
"Did you cook for me? Oh my goodness, I really don't like it when a woman cooks, because I have trauma from my mother being forced to cook for a very big family because of my abusive father. It makes me highly uncomfortable that you cooked for me." (Are you really past your issues, sir???)
I had already told him TWICE that I did NOT in fact cook for him, I cooked for MYself because I missed home and this is my comfort dish that I like to make when I miss home. He still proceeds to say:
"You can't impress me by cooking for me"
B*tch I didn't cook for you. I invited you over for dinner because I wanted to SHARE a home cooked meal WITH you. Jesus CHRISTTTT how fcking hard can it be to understand, you M0R0N. Not everything is about you.
And I saved the best for last:
"I'm not being JUDGEMENTAL, I'm simply making an OBSERVATION"
Cut to:
"Oh my god! You're so judgemental!"
Sure.
I'm so glad he ghosted me. Because my tentacles aren't sharp enough AT ALL to sniff the red flags.
What an EWW man.
I have made this post as a reminder to try never miss him again. I was a bit under the weather today thinking about it all. But I'm definitely better than I was a month ago. I lost 10kg grieving this almost narc-like individual.
31-35, F
