Wednesday at work was one of the best shifts I can ever recall. And Thursday night ended up being one of the absolute worst shifts.
From one coworker setting me up for a more challenging shift, to romantic Thing 1 and Thing 2 not knowing how to do a single task without the other, it was a frustrating night that ended up being a long one because I simply had that little help from others.
It beat my spirits down so hard that I didn’t speak for the last hour of work. Not even a word was spoken between my son and I on the drive home because we were both that aggravated with the shift, which never happens.
I didn’t speak to my husband when I got home, who was playing video games instead of working because he ended up sleeping for four hours during his shift…which I can’t even think about right now as I’m focused on a new day that will be different.
The second in command, who was there last night, knows how the team failed me, and was…well, she was greatly annoyed at how everything played out to the point she had to laugh while saying how disappointed she was in others to maintain her Christian heart. She is going to personally address the boss today at how greatly the ball was dropped yesterday and complimented me greatly on my performance through the bullshit I had to manage. I’ll admit though, as she complimented me on handling a situation others knowingly put me in, I politely told her to stop when I honestly wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up. Not because I was angry at her, but because I didn’t want to receive kindness or even softness in that moment of us being slammed when I felt required to be an emotionless machine that didn’t feel anything just so I could get through the night without ripping someone’s head off.
After we had closed for the night, everything was a mess and half the list couldn’t be completed. I still had something on the list I had to complete before leaving though, which unfortunately took me a bit and forced me to leave them unsupervised. There was still so much to be done when I finished my task, including boxes outside that needed to be broken down and carried to the dumpster, which I quietly volunteered myself for. That moment of breathing fresh air as the day suddenly became night without me knowing…it was everything. There was silence, other than the sound of frogs in the background. And there was the aroma of honeysuckle in the air from the nearby patch of them. After a good bit, one coworker came out to say, “There you are,” as he took something to his car, then walked back to grab something to take to her car, and then decided to grab the boxes I had broken down for the dumpster. Then, I walked back inside to two dirty stations they left me with as they took 30 minutes to wash and dry maybe 15 dishes of ours. …you can see why I was done.
But those breaths in the cooler nighttime air where I heard no giggles or talk of the upcoming prom date, or ticket being printed, or timer going off, or slamming down of trays, or loud industrial machinery doing its job. Those breaths in that welcomed clean environment of nature was the only moment I could have smiled, even though I didn’t. I just breathed. It was all I could do.
It beat my spirits down so hard that I didn’t speak for the last hour of work. Not even a word was spoken between my son and I on the drive home because we were both that aggravated with the shift, which never happens.
I didn’t speak to my husband when I got home, who was playing video games instead of working because he ended up sleeping for four hours during his shift…which I can’t even think about right now as I’m focused on a new day that will be different.
The second in command, who was there last night, knows how the team failed me, and was…well, she was greatly annoyed at how everything played out to the point she had to laugh while saying how disappointed she was in others to maintain her Christian heart. She is going to personally address the boss today at how greatly the ball was dropped yesterday and complimented me greatly on my performance through the bullshit I had to manage. I’ll admit though, as she complimented me on handling a situation others knowingly put me in, I politely told her to stop when I honestly wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up. Not because I was angry at her, but because I didn’t want to receive kindness or even softness in that moment of us being slammed when I felt required to be an emotionless machine that didn’t feel anything just so I could get through the night without ripping someone’s head off.
After we had closed for the night, everything was a mess and half the list couldn’t be completed. I still had something on the list I had to complete before leaving though, which unfortunately took me a bit and forced me to leave them unsupervised. There was still so much to be done when I finished my task, including boxes outside that needed to be broken down and carried to the dumpster, which I quietly volunteered myself for. That moment of breathing fresh air as the day suddenly became night without me knowing…it was everything. There was silence, other than the sound of frogs in the background. And there was the aroma of honeysuckle in the air from the nearby patch of them. After a good bit, one coworker came out to say, “There you are,” as he took something to his car, then walked back to grab something to take to her car, and then decided to grab the boxes I had broken down for the dumpster. Then, I walked back inside to two dirty stations they left me with as they took 30 minutes to wash and dry maybe 15 dishes of ours. …you can see why I was done.
But those breaths in the cooler nighttime air where I heard no giggles or talk of the upcoming prom date, or ticket being printed, or timer going off, or slamming down of trays, or loud industrial machinery doing its job. Those breaths in that welcomed clean environment of nature was the only moment I could have smiled, even though I didn’t. I just breathed. It was all I could do.
46-50, F
