Maybe things are repairable

I let him carry me into the house and put me to bed. Fell asleep pretty quick. Woke up and he was there just watching me a bit teary eyed. He apologized and told me he loved me. Took my hand. I sobbed and told him that this has hurt me more than anything he’s ever done. He didn’t make excuses or try to justify himself, just agreed and apologized again.

I think that softened me a little. I am still beyond hurt but not completely raging out.

I needed his comfort. I will never admit that to him because it now feels too vulnerable. But he can care for me better than anyone and always has.

I don’t know when we will have the Big Conversation or if we ever will. We will see come tomorrow what happens. He’s taking another week off to get himself together and go to appointments. He just has to show me effort to take care of himself.