Things ended 2 years ago but I still think about my ex everyday

We only dated for 6 months but she broke things off with me after finding another woman she was more interested in (she thought I didn't know that she met someone else btw). She was actually very rude to me towards the end of our relationship. I was sick and had to stay in the hospital for a week and she didn't visit me during my hospital stay at all. It was the first year of covid and I could only get one visitor a day. Like and idiot, I told all of my friends and family not to come to the hospital to visit me because I was saving the visit for her and she never showed. She had gotten me a dog for my birthday but when we split she gave my dog away the following day, after I had told her repeatedly that I wanted my dog. She gave him away the day after I got out of the hospital. I distanced myself from her, even though she would still call me (she only called twice). I wanted to allow her peace and happiness in her new relationship so I left her alone. Also, I wanted to give myself the space to heal so I had to completely cut off communication with her. Anyway, I may still think about her a lot because I actually loved her. She was the first personal I had genuine love for in 5 years.

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WhateverWorks · 36-40

Good for you for drawing boundaries. That’s really important. This persons break up stuff is not your responsibility and it’s inappropriate for them to be reaching out to you about it.

It sounds like… you’re in love with the idea of this person/relationship, not who they actually are or the relationship you actually had with them. The bitter reality is you were only with them for six months. Nobody ‘knows’ anyone in only six months. What you get is a glimpse of who they are in that amount of time and, from what you described, that glimpse was (I’m sure there were good moments), but overall getting pretty lousy heh

Might be good to look into something called attachment theory to help yourself figure out why you develop such a strong attachment to someone who was.. not a good partner. If that doesn’t click then it might be worth looking into codependence behavior. If you’ve been through trauma that would definitely affect your relationships, so I would look into that.

The bottom line is the reason you’re not over them is you, not them.

DrunkOnATuesday · 31-35, F

@WhateverWorks Thank you for your response. Yeah, I've been through a lot of trauma in my life, and so did she. I think for me what made me most upset was how evil she was to me and she never apologized. She also left with things "unsaid" and left me in the dark about everything. I still have unanswered questions and I think that's what I'm holing onto but, I have to let that go.

And yes, this is true. You never really know anyone in 6 months.

WhateverWorks · 36-40

I’d look into ‘trauma bonding’ then. Learning more about overcoming that may help.

@DrunkOnATuesday

DrunkOnATuesday · 31-35, F

@WhateverWorks Thank you for your response!