@BabyLonia Yeah, you're right. She was very horrible to me. She reached out to me in March to talk about a break she was going through. I listened to her and gave her advice but, stopped answering her calls. We never really talked about how horrible she was to me and she never apologized either.
I'm so sorry, this happened. Please, do not beat yourself up and keep replaying the should haves, could haves and would haves, over and over, in your mind. It's self torture, destructive and so non productive.
I know how you feel. Most of us, do.
I love, how you handled this, from the start. You wanted to offer her peace and happiness, in a new start.
Never regret being classy, doing the right thing, and taking the high road.
It's always best and gives you, a sense of healing and closure.
IMO, the 'baggage of the past', needs to be, left behind, so you can now open that door, to an even better relationship. I so hope, you understand.
Good for you for drawing boundaries. That’s really important. This persons break up stuff is not your responsibility and it’s inappropriate for them to be reaching out to you about it.
It sounds like… you’re in love with the idea of this person/relationship, not who they actually are or the relationship you actually had with them. The bitter reality is you were only with them for six months. Nobody ‘knows’ anyone in only six months. What you get is a glimpse of who they are in that amount of time and, from what you described, that glimpse was (I’m sure there were good moments), but overall getting pretty lousy heh
Might be good to look into something called attachment theory to help yourself figure out why you develop such a strong attachment to someone who was.. not a good partner. If that doesn’t click then it might be worth looking into codependence behavior. If you’ve been through trauma that would definitely affect your relationships, so I would look into that.
The bottom line is the reason you’re not over them is you, not them.
@WhateverWorks Thank you for your response. Yeah, I've been through a lot of trauma in my life, and so did she. I think for me what made me most upset was how evil she was to me and she never apologized. She also left with things "unsaid" and left me in the dark about everything. I still have unanswered questions and I think that's what I'm holing onto but, I have to let that go.
And yes, this is true. You never really know anyone in 6 months.
@Fluffybull yeah, I'm in therapy. I have moved on from her emotionally. I'm not interested in her that way anymore. I think I'm holding on to how terrible she did me and how she never apologized for it.
SW-User
That’s hard, don't let what you tried to give in love to hurt yourself.
You are right to avoid her. She used you and enjoyed hurting you. The sooner you can get completely over her the better. I have a lot of lesbian friends. They are the sweetest people ( to me) but not to each other. My shoulders have been cried on many times by heart broken friends. I am sorry that happened to you , she didn’t have to be cruel , but you are resilient and a bit stronger from the experience now.
