Ever Noticed

That we never say to single men, "you have to love yourself first before you can find someone to love you?" Only women are told this. It's also BS. Plenty of low self esteem types have partners and spouses. Look around. Look at the people you know or have known throughout your life. Some are super confident and others are not. Some fall anywhere between the two, but regardless where they fall on the confidence spectrum, some have found partners, and others have not. It's a roll of the dice. That's all it is, and you certainly don't have to love yourself. What does that even mean?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Windsylph · F

I've read through the responses so far and want to thank you for posting this because you made me stop and examine a few things.

What kept coming to me was the question, "do you (I) admire the relationships people with low self-esteem have?" And my answer was that I don't, for the most part. Those relationships are often codependent and based on fragile egos, which almost always leads to poor communication, power struggles and more.

So, what do I want in a relationship? (I asked myself) And the answer kept coming back, "I want the guy who treats me as well as I treat him."

For me, this means I do have to love myself well and good, to have the relationship I want, and demonstrate confidently and kindly through my words and actions how I like/desire to be treated.

It sounds a little cookie-cutter, I know, and I don't believe life is at all "cookie-cutter neat." But I do believe (as the law of physics proves) the higher the vibration, the more positive the attraction.

Soft breezes to you, my friend.

Carissimi · F

@Windsylph: I like your response, but I honestly believe that all you need is self respect, and knowing your own values, and what you will tolerate, and where you draw the line. I could spend the next 30-years trying to love myself (whatever that means), and not reach it, but right now I do respect myself, know my values, and what I won't tolerate. That's good enough in my book, but even people who do have a sense of self, won't necessarily find a compatible partner.
If you can get 80%, and the 20% lacking is not a deal breaker, then that's much better than most people have, I think.