Is having kids the end of fun?

I can agree I'm self centered. Maybe some people should listen when the other person states a lot of apprehension to being a father, and either get on the pill like they said they would. Or not complain that protection was uncomfortable. And I should have been more responsible and demanded protection or been more assertive about ending things. But that's my problem. I'm irresponsible.

@hideout: but the best things inlife were accidents sometimes. Also she sounds manipulative. Being a parent really is great though.

She is. But it's like she is without trying. She see things very black and white sometimes. A right way to live and a wrong way. And so she used anger to manipulate. If I don't or say something she doesn't like; she gets mad. And her anger is very hard to deal with. Or she will threaten divorce and withhold intimacy. But in her mind, i don't think she thinks she is manipulating me. I had talked to friends about leaving her so many times. We would break up and get back togeather. And since friends don't want to get involved. They just stayed silent when I would be like. Oh, yeah we're back togeather. Yeah. Back togeather with the girl I did nothing but complain about all the time. Jesus, knock a guy on the head once in a while. Tell him he is fucking up. Maybe because she is so responsible it felt better. Not like I was daiting a mean screw up. No, just someone with high expectations.

@hideout: well its too late to tell you to fuckin run so i wont. Your best bet now is to stick it out. The child may need you as a buffer. Youll find your strength with her when youre protecting someone else against her.

No. I don't need to protect the kids from her. They are the light of her life. People often tell me to run. As if that would be better. Yeah, I would be able to do some of the things I wanted on the weekend. Some weekends. But I also would miss my kids. Wouldn't suddenly have all these friends. Would feel like the old guy trying to fit in. Would probably only be able to find women on dating sites. If even that. Wouldn't be living the life I wanted anyway. Idk. But I know I don't need to protect my kids from her. We just need to protect them from how shitty we treat eachother.

Youll be ok. Its just a new reality.

I know I'll be okay. But will I ever be happy again.

@hideout: you will be. I get where your at right now I think. Focus on your children. They chang people. Theyll change you and her and the dynamics of your relationships.