I am not doing well at all.

I've been through some incredibly dark moments in my life but most of them hardly compare to this.

I have every sad song I've ever heard stuck in my head. I am crying even in my dreams. Dreaming about my childhood before I was depressed and then waking up realizing it's gone.

I'm not even interested in practicing music like I've done since I was 8 years old. Not interested in anything at all. I will never do anything significant with my life or become anyone or anything.

Nothing has ever taken away my passion for music like this. Not anything, ever. And now even that is gone.

I have never cared so little about everything around me and yet been so sad about it all at the same time.