Tell me how

I wish I had you in my life. I wish I never ruined things for us. I'm filled with so much regret. and it's been two years but it feels like hours ago. it's so raw. but I try and forget. but then I remember and it crushes me and I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know how to move on from having so much and then so little. how can you move on from something which rips your entire self away from your body. how can you move on from feeling like the stars were in your lungs and the autumn sun was resting in your eyelashes. how can you recover from this. how do you carry on living?