I really just want someone to tell me why I'm so unlikable...

My exbf says I'm impossible. I'm too much and not enough. He was pretty big on gaslighting, but also, I don't have friends. Now that we are no contact I realize he may be right. My phone, my life, it's all silent. I write people here and they don't respond. Or it's five word responses and obvious disinterest.

I'm not asking for help. I just wish I could start over and try again.

I've struggled for a long time with that man. I chose him over others even when he was grinding my heart into dust. Yes I was wrong. I'm not making excuses.

I just want my life back. I want to feel sane and be included.

But you finally get away from the one who took so much of your attention and realize there's no one left that cares. You are truly alone. Not by choice, not because you needed it...

Because you turned into an unlovable monster. I didn't have a great understanding of love. I grew up with a single Mom. I thought I was a good person but maybe I'm not. Maybe I've changed for the worst.

All I know is, I'm breaking right now and there's nowhere to go. Again I don't need anyone to fix anything, I just want to know why I'm so unlovable and fix it myself.