Say honestly do you also feel this way like I do during family gatherings or reunions?
So in this post I will share about how i feel during family gatherings or family reunions. This happens during my annual visits to my hometown. Basically my hometown and birthplace is Siliguri in West Bengal of India whereas I am living in the city Bangalore in Southern India since 2008 so yeah we visit it annually once. Siliguri is where my paternal family side lives but the main hesitation i feel is when I visit Falakata which is a smaller town also in West Bengal in the same northern region(Dooars) of the state about 110 km from Siliguri. Falakata is where my maternal grandpa and the maternal side of my family lives or visits. So what happens is whenever we visit Siliguri, we obviously visit Falakata as well. But the thing is how the family gatherings make it overwhelming for me there. So I have 4 aunts, 4 uncles and several cousins from my mom's side of family. When we annually visit once, they all visit Falakata to my grandpa's house or this particular uncle's house who live in Falakata.
So my oldest aunt and her family lives in Assam State of North East India as her husband lives there, my 2nd oldest aunt and her family lives in Cooch Behar which is another place in the North Bengal itself, my 3rd aunt lives in Falakata itself with her family where we gather or stay and the youngest aunt lives in Nagaland state of North East India as her husband lives there. So we all gather in the house and as an introvert seeing so many people makes me feel overwhelmed. My last visit to Siliguri and Falakata was in Sept 2024 when I was 23 and it was a very overwhelming one as all my 4 aunts, 4 uncles, 4 cousins, maternal grandpa, his 2nd wife(yeah my maternal grandma died in 2008 so he remarried), me and my parents all gathered in my grandpa's home which is quite small so there is hardly much space in my home. Also I am the oldest of all my cousins. At 23, I had nothing in common to talk with my cousins who were only 16, 13, 11 and 7 years old at the time and yet my mom kept saying me to talk to them even though I was just being at one place seeing my phone.
Also my other cousins bonded well with each other as they lived within North Bengal and Assam region so they met every month whereas as me and my family lives in Bangalore and only visit annually once or twice and recently didn't even visit at all, I never had a close bond with my cousins plus being a lot older than most of them too. Same with my uncles and aunts too. Yeah as a kid I was close to my aunts but after we shifted to Bangalore, things became different plus i honestly became much more shy and hesitant in general after facing so much bullying in school here in Bangalore so I felt social anxiety near too many people which lasted for years and obviously i felt the hesitant even in Falakata with relatives. I was only comfortable with my grandfather and went for walks with him. In my sept 2024 I was finally becoming confident in my MBA campus but as it was so new, i still felt the hesitation and overwhelm. My mom too keeps on pushing me to talk to my cousins, aunts and uncles as she saw me always being shy and less social and wanted me to come out of my hesitation. That's why I felt comfortable in Siliguri, as my dad's side doesn't have so many relatives and i felt the urban comfort and space in the Siliguri house but dreaded visiting Falakata simply because of these large gatherings as I was expected by my mom to talk to everyone while I used to feel overwhelmed and hesitant near so many people and as I am the oldest of my cousin, there was more expectations towards me to act a certain way and that's why my hesitation and isolating in one room stood out.
So my oldest aunt and her family lives in Assam State of North East India as her husband lives there, my 2nd oldest aunt and her family lives in Cooch Behar which is another place in the North Bengal itself, my 3rd aunt lives in Falakata itself with her family where we gather or stay and the youngest aunt lives in Nagaland state of North East India as her husband lives there. So we all gather in the house and as an introvert seeing so many people makes me feel overwhelmed. My last visit to Siliguri and Falakata was in Sept 2024 when I was 23 and it was a very overwhelming one as all my 4 aunts, 4 uncles, 4 cousins, maternal grandpa, his 2nd wife(yeah my maternal grandma died in 2008 so he remarried), me and my parents all gathered in my grandpa's home which is quite small so there is hardly much space in my home. Also I am the oldest of all my cousins. At 23, I had nothing in common to talk with my cousins who were only 16, 13, 11 and 7 years old at the time and yet my mom kept saying me to talk to them even though I was just being at one place seeing my phone.
Also my other cousins bonded well with each other as they lived within North Bengal and Assam region so they met every month whereas as me and my family lives in Bangalore and only visit annually once or twice and recently didn't even visit at all, I never had a close bond with my cousins plus being a lot older than most of them too. Same with my uncles and aunts too. Yeah as a kid I was close to my aunts but after we shifted to Bangalore, things became different plus i honestly became much more shy and hesitant in general after facing so much bullying in school here in Bangalore so I felt social anxiety near too many people which lasted for years and obviously i felt the hesitant even in Falakata with relatives. I was only comfortable with my grandfather and went for walks with him. In my sept 2024 I was finally becoming confident in my MBA campus but as it was so new, i still felt the hesitation and overwhelm. My mom too keeps on pushing me to talk to my cousins, aunts and uncles as she saw me always being shy and less social and wanted me to come out of my hesitation. That's why I felt comfortable in Siliguri, as my dad's side doesn't have so many relatives and i felt the urban comfort and space in the Siliguri house but dreaded visiting Falakata simply because of these large gatherings as I was expected by my mom to talk to everyone while I used to feel overwhelmed and hesitant near so many people and as I am the oldest of my cousin, there was more expectations towards me to act a certain way and that's why my hesitation and isolating in one room stood out.
22-25, M
