It's really jarring.

I've known a small handful of people for years, who truly care about me. It means so much.

But they're across the world from me, and as soon as I put my screen down, I'm back to reality.

Nobody in my real life knows the meaning of unconditional love. They turn their affection on and off like a light switch. They withhold it and ration it out. If they think it's not deserved, they just flip that switch off again.

I find it hard to function in this environment. It's exhausting. There are things I need to do, expectations I need to fulfill, and I don't have the energy nor sanity to help me along the way.