I have been trapped in a negative spiral for years.

I am happy for the brutal honesty I gave myself, it was healing.

But I think I've been through the pain over and over, I've taken what I can from the immense loss. I've outgrown the shadow of the past.

I'm ready to (slowly) let some light in. To let my light within shine just a bit. I am cautious. But I will make a new effort to feel and share more joy, and see how it goes.

It's unfortunate so many good people let me go along the way. I understand they don't want to put up with my problems or sadness at all, but that was never all I was. So I can let them go too. I have no room for short-sighted connections. I'm grateful for the people that put the effort into showing me they care about others 🖤

I know I'll never be normal, and I can't fit back together the same as I was, but what I have learned about myself, others, and life gives me a balanced reboot.