When someone dies, especially when young

Yes, that is an awful feeling. I lost several friends far too soon, two to suicide. Now that we are old, it isn't a shock to hear that I have lost a friend.

My former schoolmate died maybe a year or two after we graduated from high school. I talked about it with other former schoolmates I was a friend with and at that time, it was almost scary how we were not really affected by it. It was weird. I mean, we were shocked but none of us cried or was truly sad like when someone close dies. Damn, the dude sat behind us for years and that was all we had to give to him. That's...sad.

But of course later he started appearing in my dreams now and then and in some he said it was just some kind of hoax, in other I realized he was dead and wasn't supposed to be there. And not a long ago I caught myself thinking "where might he be now and what is he doing?" only to realize in a split second that he can't possibly do anything. He's been dead for over 10 years.

Thinking back Richard was 12 when he was killed in a traffic accident. Lyle was 15 when he died in a home accident. Carol was 17 when she died in a traffic accident. Another Richard was 26 when he took his own life.

Yeah it feels weird, u care for ppl that u never even interacted with.