Ever Outgrown a Version of Yourself?

Have you ever looked back at who you were 5 or 10 years ago and thought, “Wow… I don’t even recognize that person anymore.”

Lately I’ve been reflecting on the different versions of myself I’ve lived through — the ambitious one chasing titles, the people-pleaser trying to keep everyone happy, the silent observer who avoided conflict, and the fighter who learned to speak up.

Growth is strange. It doesn’t always feel like progress when you’re in it. Sometimes it feels like loss. You lose comfort. You lose certain relationships. You lose the illusion of who you thought you’d be. But in exchange, you gain clarity.

I’ve learned that evolving isn’t about becoming perfect. It’s about becoming honest — honest about what you want, what you tolerate, and what you absolutely won’t accept anymore.

Some people from your past only fit the old version of you. And that’s okay. Not everyone is meant to walk with you into your next chapter.

So I’m curious…

Have you ever had to let go of a former version of yourself?
What changed you the most — success, failure, heartbreak, responsibility?

Let’s talk about growth — the messy, uncomfortable, real kind.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Jayciedubb · 56-60, M

Looking back, I think it was the Army and war that changed me the most, followed by responsibility. I used to be an outdoors nut, spending most of my free time boating, camping, fishing, riding either street bikes or dirt bikes or quads. All my friends had similar passions.

Then we bought our house, and many of my friends began to distance themselves from me, either due to jealousy or disapproval of my chosen location (city, not country). I think the problem was that they had no idea such a neighborhood existed in such a city, and when gas prices started going crazy, they had to pay the price much more than I did.

That was a short-lived situation as the decision to have kids and the responsibility that came with it caused me to rearrange my whole way of life when my son was born helplessly disabled.

I tried to keep my old way of life while being a responsible father, but i was just going through the motions on both sides. Finally, after trying all the possibilities, I had to give up all the outdoors stuff. Trying to include my son made him miserable and having him cared for while we trired to have fun without him made me miserable.