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dum ass of the year

PIERCE COUNTY COUPLE WINS LOTTERY, CELEBRATES BY GETTING ARRESTED FOR RUNNING FULL‑SCALE METH OPERATION IN THEIR SHED

BLACKSHEAR, GA — In what Sheriff’s Office officials are calling “a record‑breaking turnaround time from riches to handcuffs,” a local couple hit the $14.2 million Peach Jackpot on Friday night and were arrested less than 18 hours later for operating what deputies described as “a Breaking Bad–themed Home Depot aisle” behind their single‑wide.

Neighbors say the couple, Terry Wayne and Misty Dawn Huggins, had been “acting real funny” ever since Terry Wayne strutted into the Flash Foods announcing he was “officially too rich to speak to anybody wearing Crocs.”

According to investigators, the couple celebrated their win by purchasing:

- A used bass boat
- Three golf carts “for racing purposes”
- A pallet of Monster Energy
- And, most suspiciously, 42 pounds of Sudafed from six different counties

Deputies became suspicious when Misty Dawn posted a Facebook Live titled “We Up Now, Y’all Can’t Tell Us Nothin’” featuring a large blue chemical barrel in the background labeled NOT METH in Sharpie.

Sheriff’s Office spokesperson Deputy Earlene Pritchard said the meth lab was discovered after a neighbor called 911 to report “a smell like burnt Skittles and bad decisions.”

Inside the shed, deputies found:

- Four crockpots wired together with extension cords
- A fan pointed directly at a window screen
- A whiteboard labeled “METH SCHEDULE — DO NOT ERASE”
- And a vision board featuring a pontoon boat, a Cancun resort, and a lifted F‑150

When asked why they were still cooking meth after winning millions, Terry Wayne reportedly replied:

“We didn’t wanna blow the whole check at once. This was our side hustle.”

The couple was taken into custody without incident, though Misty Dawn attempted to bribe officers with a Ziploc bag of “starter product” and a coupon for a free Bojangles biscuit.

The Georgia Lottery Commission has already issued a statement reminding future winners that “financial advisors are available, and none of them recommend felony drug manufacturing.”
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“officially too rich to speak to anybody wearing Crocs.”

pmsl.. thats the best
Jamesy · 41-45, M
They should have called Saul

 
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