Today was a better day than I expected

I actually felt good about things for the first time since my cat died in October. Maybe I'm finally recovering, maybe not, we'll have to see how long this lasts as I've had moments like this before in the past two months. But last night while I was lying in bed I finally managed to put into words how I was feeling and that seems to have shifted things a little. Turns out when you're able to admit it to "others" (I was imagining a conversation in my head because it was late at night, and I don't really know who I can turn to in reality for this stuff) that I couldn't see a way out and was having harmful thoughts persistently was the turning point I needed.

I do worry it won't last though. September to October was the first time in my life that I could remember that I was actually in a good (or at least better) place. I miss that.