Do you ever feel like you are basically not allowed to speak of what's in your mind because it "upsets" people ?

I'm so tired of being constantly judged, everything is my fault every single thing I do is wrong my whole life is a mistake. And when I defend myself guess what, I'm still doing it wrong.

It's been this way since primary school except that instead of school mates it's now my family. Maybe I deserve this because in all honesty I did that to my sister at one point because she was doing the same to our younger sister. Now it's just me and I hate that I always end up forgetting and forgiving for the sake of peace and I end up oversharing and it happens all over again.

I also hate how easily this gets on my nerves and I snap.

Not sure how to fix that exactly, I would definitely leave if I could and obviously I thought of that but that's not an option given how things are healthwise.