Questioning my enoughness once again, despite having carried these responsibilities alone many times before,
and having succeeded in doing so, the fears don't leave. They all resurface, The same questions , the same doubts and new ones that branch out ever so endlessly in my frontal lobe and then back to my amygdala and then to the front again.
Perhaps because my brain sees the stakes as real, and I know how easily things can fall apart. One minor detail changes and too much is lost.
Other people depersonalize this. The way we manage to learn to prepare chicken and chop its bits for dinner, never once stopping to wonder about its life.
The things we do and the things we experience can be different to our perception.
I have tried to have this conversation before and I ended up having to comfort the other person. For me most of these fears are existential in nature. They only could understand them from moral stand point, and therefore draw comforts after the fact.
Perhaps because my brain sees the stakes as real, and I know how easily things can fall apart. One minor detail changes and too much is lost.
Other people depersonalize this. The way we manage to learn to prepare chicken and chop its bits for dinner, never once stopping to wonder about its life.
The things we do and the things we experience can be different to our perception.
I have tried to have this conversation before and I ended up having to comfort the other person. For me most of these fears are existential in nature. They only could understand them from moral stand point, and therefore draw comforts after the fact.
