The hardest thing is to follow my own advice.

Some relationships aren't clear in my life.
There are certain people towards whom I feel repelled but for whichever reasons, I've allowed them in my life. I have been holding these relationships in a light that I feel I no longer want to continue to be doing.
Feeling like they are humans who are doing a lot of work and deserve to be helped, but I am no longer willing to play this role. It is really difficult to do the separation within myself, it's really difficult.

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Ghostinthemachine · M

Let them go, if they aren’t allowing you to enjoy life and live it in the positive way that you want to

being · 36-40, F

@Ghostinthemachine The thing is, in words AND in actions they do. But in feeling, not really.
I don't feel their words and actions and intentions are aligned.

Ghostinthemachine · M

@being that’s quite confusing. Personally speaking, if I don’t know where I stand with someone, it makes me feel uneasy as well, and words and actions not matching only heightens those feelings

being · 36-40, F

@Ghostinthemachine words and actions do match. It's the intentions I am sensing behind them that don't match. Very subtle, like some sort of manipulation, but not malevolent or conscious necessarily. Maybe just reflective of the place they are..? I am confused as I haven't observed similar situations with the same clarity in the past. My seeing is clear.
It is with my caring side that I need to work now. It's not real, it's not true care, it's petty, that's the sad truth. I should remove myself from these people, I am being fake and harmful.
I say these from a place of loving myself, not blaming. Just seeing things for what they are.
They're being fake, I'm fake, the relationships don't spark true joy from my side.
They have a lot to offer, I really mean that.
But I want to stop myself from getting entangled into false relationships.
It has happened that I shared a joint, weed, with both of these people.
I should've known better.

One of them highlighted it to me, saying "I couldn't catch you, until we shared that moment smoking together". Bs I am allowing. !

Ghostinthemachine · M

@being lack of sincerity and feeling genuine…I can hear my inner voice saying “who are you?” To myself lol

Just be you, and you will attract the right people. Any red flags should be noticed and examined as to why they are waving

being · 36-40, F

@Ghostinthemachine yes thank you. It is after the confusion that I am standing truly.
I know what I must do, it's just hard to do it. I need to act in compassionate ways and not hurt people, myself included.

I'll try more silence perhaps.

Ghostinthemachine · M

@being you are very compassionate and self aware, don’t let these two noble traits entangle you too much

Be well, my friend

being · 36-40, F

@Ghostinthemachine thank you. All is good <3

Ghostinthemachine · M

@being Good.

I know you will figure it out, and will be fine