I don't understand

It has been 6 months, not days, not even weeks, 6 MONTHS since I've had my surgery and I'm still struggling with eating healthy. Every day that passes, I get more depressed and feel more defeated by not being able to cope with cutting out foods that I love. At this point, I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to change that. Maybe it's time I just give into temptation and spend what little time I would have left enjoying all the foods that would literally kill me.