Why is it that when I'm at the edge of a complete breakdown, that's when everybody I've asked for help wants to suddenly help me??

unfortunately you get more of a response if you display a certain colour, or make a certain noise that people recognize as suffering (it's the same at hospitals). that's the problem when youre trying to be strong and not bother anyone. you don't express yourself properly and honestly until you do hit rock bottom.

i hope you feel better soon. 🙏