Its not supposed to be this way

Life..loneliness creeps in. Not one person whom i can depend. Stripped bare from the agony of defeat, yet when tears fall, my pillow is all i meet.
I push forward, functioning depression.
I keep striving for perfection.
I lack reasons, no forward goals, no motives , my shambles no controlls.
I walk away just inntime to see, a better version would my life ever be?
Haunting memories, alas..how can it be? What else can i say!
Its not supposed to be this way..