I'm unsure and losing hope. I'm not positive and my faith is starting to crumble. I'm hurt, I'm worried and ready to just give up. I'm sad, I'm angry. I am fucking tired. I'm sick of trying to stay positive and trying to stay strong and believe everything will be ok because it's been almost a year & nothing has improved. Nothing is working. Nothing is pretty anymore. Sometimes I just have to accept defeat for what it is, a fucking LOSS. It isn't a test or a lesson or a setback or a stumbling block, it's a fucking loss and I am tired. Fake smiles and empty words are all that's left of me. I just need to fall apart for awhile, like the fucking trainwreck I really am.
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That's why they call it TOXIC positivity. A positive mental attitude is having the proper mental attitude for a given circumstance. NOT to be gushing all the time. In other words, it's okay and normal to be sad in a sad situation. It's okay and normal to be angry in a situation that would make a normal person angry, and it's okay and normal to be happy and laughing during a joyous event. This "always be kind" narrative that is being pushed in society is a bunch of BS. STOP IT! So what if you only have a few friends. Better a few than 1000 who you have to continuously appease to keep them. And ignore the social media platitudes. They are phony, they don't mean a thing, and they don't help. There, friend. 🙂
