What was the roughest time in your life ?? What caused the situation ??

I’d say when my parents were killed but honestly the trauma was so bad I think I was numb for most of that time. The pain since then has been unbearable. I guess the different times I’ve attempted suicide would be the worst, or should I say the times I survived suicide attempts, that moment straight after you know you failed is the lowest feeling you can ever feel. Like even in ending it all I’m a failure and now everyone knows it too